4 Ways To Be A Man

Like it or not, it takes more than a pair of cojones to achieve manhood. Cultures around the world have rites of passage to symbolize it, as well as customs to preserve it. This article focuses on the journey from boyhood to manhood, rather than any fundamental difference between men and women. Although there is no one way to categorize manliness, there are certain attributes that people all around the world consider "manly." Here are a few steps to make you become a better person

Part One: Mind

1. 1
   Know yourself. Find out who you are and be happy with that person. There's no one way to be a man. A real man can be a logger who wears plaid and doesn't shower for 10 days; a real man can also be a professor who talks about Milton and Shakespeare. All men, however, know who they are and respect themselves in and out.
   
   
   
   
   
   

   
   
2. 2
   Be knowledgeable about something. It doesn't really matter what it is, but you should consider yourself pretty familiar with one area of expertise. Men may not be able to — or want to — use fancy, two-dollar words, but when it comes time to getting things done, they know how to act. They use their smarts to get it done. What area of expertise do you know? Here are just a few areas you might consider diving into.
   
   
   
   
   • General knowledge. You're the jack of all trades. You could win a pretty penny on Jeopardy! if you cared at all about being on TV. You know the difference between participles and parts of speech, pterodactyls and Pterorhynchus, and a $99 suit and a $6,000 suit.
   • Cars. Men flock to cars for the same reason they flock to women: they're beautiful, intriguing, complex. No wonder men refer to cars in feminine terms. Maybe you're the kind of man whose buddies bring their car to when they need a clutch replaced or the oil changed.
   • History. Increasingly rare, the man who's a student of history gives himself the benefit of a very wide lens when contemplating problems: he can draw on Roman artillery strategy, Cold War negotiating tactics, and obscure French economic policy, among others. He knows that history isn't just about preventing the mistakes of the past from happening in the future.
   • Women. Some men turn the opposite sex into a field of study. If you want to be knowledgeable about women, be prepared to make mistakes and learn from them. There's nothing worse than a man who thinks he's God's gift to women, but who's stubbornly insulting, cavalier, and clueless.
3. 3
   Know when you've made a mistake and know when to say "I'm sorry." There's nothing wrong with making a mistake. Only the insecure man thinks that making a mistake is bad, because he's not comfortable with who he is in the first place. Confident men know when they're wrong and aren't afraid to admit it.
   
   
   
   
   • Learn to say "I'm sorry" in different ways. Men know that saying "sorry" doesn't always have to be verbal. A ticket to a baseball game, breakfast in bed, and a camping trip are all ways to say "I'm sorry" without moving the old vocal chords back and forth. Men know that these are often more effective ways of communicating regret than two measly words.
4. 4
   Know the man-code. What is the man-code? The man-code is an unwritten set of rules that men live by, often evolving but rarely changing. Take the man-code seriously when you can. It tells other men that you respect them as much as you respect yourself. Here are a few items on the list:
   
   
   
   
   • Dating no-nos. You may never date another friend's sister, unless you actually intend on marrying her. You may never date another friend's ex unless you have his explicit permission. Explicit permission means actually asking him.
   • Share your possessions when possible. If a friend asks for a pair of work boots, a drill, or a crock-pot a day in advance, you should be kind enough to loan it to him. Cars, lucky items, or women are not necessarily applicable.
   • Birthday presents for other men are always optional. If pressed for information, you may always lie and tell them your significant other ordered you to act.
   • Never initiate conversation with other men at a urinal station. It is never acceptable to choose a urinal immediately adjacent to another man if an open, further-removed urinal is available.
   • No smiley-faces or emoticons are necessary when texting another guy. Although acceptable (not preferable) to use when texting women, keep use to a bare minimum.
5. 5
   Let go of self-destructive thoughts or customs. Understand that all men in all cultures may have, to some extent, been socialized in ways that may be psychologically and culturally damaging, and may bring unhappiness. The first step in creating a sense of self in manhood is to examine the environment in which you were raised, as objectively as you can.
   
   
   
   
   • Did you grow up in a culture where it was acceptable to abuse someone, whether physically or verbally, who was "out of line" or insubordinate? Violence is more often the result of cowardice than a genuine impulse to solve a problem. Using violence or threats against friends or family to "show your authority" is unhealthy and damaging.
   • Were you taught that being "tough" means suppressing emotion, holding in tears, and never exposing vulnerability? The drawback here is that you also learn to internalize and suppress these emotions which then fester and get worse. Focus on being a different kind of tough: be a reliable, strong figure who can handle adversity.
   • Were you taught to hate/fear anyone who's homosexual? Outward displays of homophobia point to a man's own sexual insecurity, not his prowess. Understand that only one thing makes you gay: having a romantic and sexual preference for people of the same gender. The kind of music you like, the clothes you wear, whether you cry at sad movies, buying your wife flowers, being sensitive or nice to others — none of that makes you gay. A gay man keeps being a man, because he has no worries about what others think about him once he has enough courage to going out of the closet and living his life without lies.
   • Adapted from wikihow